Everybody dies but not everyone lives.

Well I'm a little overdo for a blog or two. Right?
Meh.

I still need to blog about Mr. Thomas J. Calhoun Jr.
The STEM program gave me nothing. I'm not a STEM focused student and I do not wish to go into the STEM field.
But, he talked about a lot more than that.
He also talked about life as a college student.
That's what i liked the most about his talk.
What really drew me into wanting to listen to him was that he sounded EXACTLY like my old principal in high school.
Coach Turner was loud and sometimes annoying but he was so passionate about what he spoke on that people wanted to listen to him. or maybe that was just me.

Anyways, Mr. Calhoun said not to take our gifts for granted, and I think that is so true. So many people take the gifts they are given and just throw them away in lieu of drugs or greed. People like this don't really live.
he also said we have to allow ourselves to experience ignorance. I think this is a neat way to think about things. Ignorance is the state of being uninformed. I'm sure I'm not telling anyone anything new. Ignorance is part of life. But to a certain point ignorance is good. We can't know everything or our brain would exploded. If we dedicate our live to knowing everything then we will be taking our gifts for granted. See it all ties back together.
Another thing he touched on was that we are not so smart that life's challenges will not come to us. We may be the best of the best. The upper crust. Muy rico. But we are not so smart that life doesn't challenge us in different ways than we ever knew.
The last point I want to speak on is that plans change. We have to accept that. Nothing, NOTHING we do can ever stop things from changing. Life is like that. It moves and shapes us into something we may not be willing to accept at first.

Today is National Suicide Prevention/Awareness day. Writing 'love' on your arm or wearing yellow shows your support for such a worthy cause.

let's see yours.

I've been looking for a lifeline

-Lifeline by Papa Roach-

So soon.
Why Courtney, you actually do want to do this.
No. No I don't.

In Forum a few short hours (well not so short now since I got distracted!) ago we talked about values. As we left I wanted to write about my values in my journal. But, guess what? I have to blog about my experiences so here goes.

We scrolled through a list of 28 values and we were supposed to pick about 10 or 12 or 14. I picked 17. Go figure.  Before we broke off into groups I was able to condense it down to 13. Good Number.

Then we had to pick our top.

We went in a circle.

Challenge
Love
Integrity
Faith
Creativity
Courage
Passion

Creativity was mine.

Bet ya'll are like "Why? It's so stupid. Of all the other you pick Creativity." And that is what the girls (and Zach) probably felt like. It was at the last of everyone's list.

But this is my reckoning:
Creativity is what make us ourselves
Without creativity what are we really?
The challenges we face are not the same as anyone else's, but without our creative selves our challenges aren't any different than the person's next to us. How do we differentiate between my challenge and yours? We allow our selves to be open to change. Maybe Creativity isn't the right word to describe it, but its pretty darn close.
Love is a singular thing, but our creativity shows who we love and how we love and what we love. Without creativity  love wouldn't even be a thing. We would all just be drone's moving to the sound of a singular beat. With creativity our love can be turned into something wholly new and amazing. We can move to the sound of our drums. The rhythmic beat, beat, beat that we set in motion.
Integrity. This was a tough one to talk about. To be consistently open, honest,  ethical, and genuine. Good one Zach. Good one. The definition (listed a line or so up) speaks wonders. Integrity means being honest. I am not whole without my creativity, it is what keeps me going at day and helps me sleep at night. Without my creativity I am nothing more than a shell. How can I be honest to anyone if I am not first honest to myself.

Faith is another tough one. But without the creative mind to know what to have faith in who are we really? Just little people in a realm of confusion believing or having faith in things that other believe in. Who says what we can really have faith in? We do. I don't believe we could ever function as an individual without having a creative mind.
Courage is not one I wish to trifle with. I like courage. I was going to chose it but creativity spoke to me in ways that courage could not. Maybe it is just the way I think.
Passion is tough as well. (We all chose excellent ones BTW) My passion is in my creativity. They are wound together as one, inseparable. Without the creativity and individuality to know what you want to be passionate about passion is nothing.

Creativity allows us to be much much more than nothing.

Creativity is much more than a few brush strokes and written words. It is the life line that runs through our world. My world.

Again, maybe this is just my thinking. But this is also my blog. 

I'm the one crazy after all.

Bet ya'll are looking at the blog title and are like "Wha?"
I love Harry Potter. Like real talk. And Sirius was a seriously underrated character.
Didja like that play on words *giggle*

Cloudy is my old high school nickname and I figured 'what the hey, let's do it.'

The post title is from my all time favorite artist Daughtry called "Crazy"

So anyways. Blogs, what wonderful things. Quite frankly I am not a blog person. Guess I'll have to manage. After all this is for a grade.

So let us begin. But where oh where to start?

The week before I left my little hometown of Leeds, AL it really struck me that I was leaving. I mean I had known it for sometime but now it was so evident in the way people treated me that I couldn't get past it. People didn't treat me badly, but they were all acting so sad. "I'm gonna miss you!" and "Why do you have to leave?!"
I'm not dying ya'll. Chill out.
But I did leave and I was sad about it and I cried but I managed. I kinda had to. When my boyfriend drove away Sunday after helping me unpack I just really cried. Only for a minute or to. But still. Tears, man. They suck.
The next morning everything didn't seem so bad. I soon became accustomed to this new environment. I made new friends.
Then the Honors trip. I wasn't super good friends with ANYONE in the Honors program. I panicked. Who would I sit by? Who would I room with? What if no one liked me?
You will learn I am a very insecure person.
But I was saved the trouble of worry for very long. Little Miss Aly Pardue sat by me and we just clicked. At least I think we did. We liked similar things and she was so outgoing. It was exciting.
Till we actually left and I drew a blank for anything to ask. I have never, never, never been good and idle conversations. It's like a skill that I have not ever learned.
Then 'The Other Guys' one of the most stupid yet hilarious movies. Things began falling in place. I took a cat nap even. I began to get comfortable.
After we arrived I met my hotel roommates and they were super sweet!! I thought the trip was kinda looking up! A group of about 7 girls (myself included) went to a little mexican place. I love mexican food. Like real talk. Dinner was awesome then afterwards all us girls were just so exhausted. A long day of classes combined with a 2 1/2ish hour drive. So we all agreed, a quick look at the river then back to the hotel. And I didn't mind. Sure I missed out on some experiences but I had fun none the less.
Most of the girls headed back up to my hotel room where we sat and talked and got to know each other. Then one by one they left for their respective rooms.
At this point I was dying for some alone time to call my boyfriend. I didn't want to be rude and just be like "Hey ya'll needa leave so I can call my boo-thang." I waited patiently and learned a lot about some of the girls I hung out with.
Not even a minute passed by before Courtney (one of the other ones) and Aubree returned with Victoria. There goes my free time. But again, I didn't mind. This trip was supposed to be about new connections. My boyfriend could wait.
I did call him later and talk to him though [:
So I made new connections. We stayed up till about 12 just talking, about anything.  It was great.
Sleepy
Sleepy
Sleepy
Sleepy
MORNING!
The morning was fun. We all got ready, ate breakfast and loaded the bus to head to our next destination.
The Brooks Museum of Art.
It was actually really cool. I am a big museum person so I thoroughly enjoyed myself. We saw a ton of art work and such. My favorite was the African art on the Upper floor. At least I think it was African...
Anyways :)
Then off to a BBQ joint.

Quick story time. I worked at a local BBQ joint in Leeds called Rusty's. I am very critical of my BBQ now.
Rusty's won that round.
No offense to the other place.

Off to the ZOO!!!
This was the most exciting part. All the animals were so photogenic. The monkey's swung around, the giraffes came out for us, the penguins waved at us, and the tigers were beautiful.
I got sad seeing all those animals caged up like that. But they were raised in captivity so that helped a little. One poor little kitty was stalking and panting. Poor thing. Hopefully, it was just the stormy weather though. Hopefully.
I love zoos. But I hate the idea of them. Does that make any sense? Probably not.
But this zoo experience was fun. All the people I walked around with were super cool and it was just great.
The bus ride back was great. I became even closer friends with Aly over Harry Potter. "Go Neville!!"
Then back to our little dorm room where Kate and I stayed up talking forever.

College life has definitely been an experience (so far). It is filled with its ups and its downs and I am curious to see where it leads me.
Other than up all these dang stairs.
;) but my calves are gonna look great.

I auditioned for a play, which I never would have done in Leeds, and it was so fun. Even though I am confident I am NOT going to get a part, I still thoroughly enjoyed myself.

Now its time to say "Adios!"
See ya later.
And may the odds be ever in your favor.

-C-

Oh enjoy the pics!

^--that's my HP tattoo :)

Love this thing.

Favorite piece at the museum

PANDA!!!!!

Just keep swimming, swimming, swimming.

Doin his prairie dog thing :)